ANTM Cycle 7 - Episode 5, Recap

The girls this season like to cry. Boo hoo! I've been in the bottom two for two weeks in a row. Shut up, Jaeda! Get over yourself! Boo hoo! My friend, Megg, got sent home! I can't go on with out my friend, Megg! What's the point! AJ! What is your problem, girl? You have the looks and skillz to win this. Don't be a fool!

Michelle decides to come out - sort of - and admits she's not sure if she's gay or not. Great! Thanks for sharing that with America. Amanda is a bit upset! Michelle's like - she's not being herself. AJ asks - are you upset that your sister might or might not be gay? Amanda makes some sense and says in her diary session something to the effect that she's not upset if her sister is gay. She's more concerned her sister is on the fence. She also wonders why Michelle decided to spill this if she isn't even sure!

Me too, girl! Me too! I mean if you're going to go gay on TV, go all the way, baby! All the way! There's nothing to be ashamed of!

The girls then meet up with Mark Steines from "Entertainment Tonight". He's got a challenge for them. They get the skinny on interviewing skills. Most of the girls sucked big time. It was like some of 'em didn't even care, especially AJ. I'm sensing major apathy from this girl. I wanna smack her through my TV set but decide that would take too much effort.

I mean - why should I care if she doesn't?

The girls finally get to the real challenge, interviewing Janice Dickinson. The interviews were pretty bad all around, except for Melrose who shows she has some personality in front of the camera and might have a career post-modeling in entertainment. Good for her!

CariDee asked Janice why she was so 'overpungent'! Hehe! I think she meant over the top, but she did make Janice's botox do some funny things! I mean she tried to scrunch her face but it didn't quite work. Haha!

Brooke asked her why she was so bitchy! Oh my god! I thought Janice was goign to eat her for lunch. Melrose won, which was no surprise. AJ was like "I didn't want to win anyway." Whatever! Maybe Melrose is selfish and a snarky, but she's here for the right reasons - to win. It's not 'bout making lifelong friends, ladies.

Now, Tyra shows up for some one-on-ones. Time to get out the kleenex, sistahs! There's gonna be some tears. AJ bashes Melrose and says she's "not nice." Well, how nice is that, AJ? Hmmmm?

Melrose, for her part, says she doesn't know how to be vulnerable and understands that other people might not get her. She thinks there's some jealousy or intimidation or whatever, but no one realizes she's scared and only appears overconfident. Boo hoo!

Eugena is told she's cold. She sort of shrugs it off. CariDee talks 'bout her psoriasis and how it kept her from modeling in front of the camera. That's why she was a photog. Now, she's much better and just happy to be there. Yay!

Michelle is told that she's better than her sister although Amanda wants it more. Whoa! Tyra also says she should own her 'inner tomboy' or something like that. I wasn't really listening by this point. I was crying too hard. Sniffle, sniffle!

Wait! I started crying too soon. Amanda lets loose and just says she's concerned about her sis' sexual orientation or possible lack thereof. She's like I'm not sure if America has the right to know. She's scared for her sister.

Where do the twins come from? The midwest? The Bible belt? The town that Deliverance was shot in? I'm not sure. I mean if Michelle actually becomes a model, she'll never be understood as a gay person in the fashion industry. I mean there aren't any gay people in the fashion industry. Oh no!

Was I being too sarcastic there? Oh well!

Michelle calls mommy. Amanda's with her. She says, "Mommy, I might be gay." Mommy says, "It's okay. We love you no matter what!" Michelle cries in relief I think. Amanda cries too. Then they both say "Happy Mother's Day"...at least, that's what I think I heard.

Haha! Guess what I got my mother for Mother's Day. It wasn't that! Maybe, next year they'll spring for a card!

Melrose got to interview various 'stars' - and I use the term loosely - of the CW for her challenge. She did very well. She was relatable. I think she's got a future there, as I've said before!

Now, it's the photo shoot. Each model had to pose with herself as a celebrity couple.

CariDee was Brad & Angelina. She did good despite the fact the kids cried the whole time. Eugena was Beyonce and Jay-Z. She honestly looked better as Jay-Z. AJ was J. Lo and Marc Anthony. Why someone didn't put her as Sandra Bullock and Jesse James, I'll never understand! Never! AJ was totally not into the whole thing and gave nothing but attitude.

Anchal was Oprah and Stedman. The Stedman was totally horrible, but it wasn't her fault. It looked like the wig was made of brillo and the mustache was gross like a dust brush or something. Ugh!

Brooke was Britney and K-Fed. She even got to pose with a yellow python and was cool about it. She did great on both shoots.

Jaeda was Bobby & Whitney. She totally got into the Bobby character but wasn't so Whitney. Amanda was Demi & Ashton. She brought comedy and glamour to the shoot. She really surprised me. Michelle was Ellen DeGeneres & Portia DeRossi. Well, she was really Ellen. It was uncannily good. Amanda was like - why did my sister have to be the only lesbian couple? Hmmm? 'Tis wonder!

Oh wait! I'm forgetting Melrose. She was Melania and Donald Trump. Oh man! She was hysterical as the Donald. Jay told her she made top model history by giving him so many usable frames. It was near perfect! Kudos, to you HBIC (Head B*tch in Charge)!

At elimination, the gals had to watch and comment on a tape of Tyra and the Two Jays on the red carpet. A lot of the girls didn't even try - like AJ and Jaeda! H-E-L-L-O! This is the time to convince these people you want to be here! Wake up and pay attention!

The rest were okay except for Brooke and Melrose who did really great. Brooke's only mistake was holding the mic upside-down at one point. Hehe! She was cute 'bout it, though!

In the end, it was down to AJ and Jaeda. My husband was upset when AJ was let go. I was a bit surprised, but looking back, her attitude did suck. AJ told Melrose to 'be nice'. Whatever!

AJ then said she sabotaged herself. I'm not sure why, but it seems like she may just have done that. Oh well, next week Eugena gets b*tchy - I guess she's sick of Melrose stealing the spotlight - and Halloween comes early when the girls have a scary photo shoot!

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