Reality TV Dating Lingo
Catch Phrases on Reality Television Shows
What are those people on reality TV dating shows talking about? Here's a guide to dating show catch phrases.
Reality TV dating shows are a world unto itself—and one you’re probably glad you don’t live in! “The characters” on these shows speak a unique language that doesn’t make much sense in, well, reality. Here’s a list of some of the catchphrases that have evolved in reality television that will help you make sense (as much as that’s possible) of this odd world.
Here for the Right Reasons
Reality TV dating contestants are always accusing each other of not being “here for the right reasons.” And what are the right reasons for being on a reality TV dating show? Why, falling madly in love with the Bachelor, or Flavor Flav, or whatever individual the show is touting as your potential true love.
In contrast, being “here for the wrong reasons” means “because I want to be on TV and get publicity for my extremely fledgling acting career.” There’s always a conflict on the show where the heartthrob comes to question whether Potential Spouse X is here for the right reasons or the wrong reasons, followed by a tearful plea from Potential Spouse X that her love is true, even though she’s been on three other reality TV shows and walks around with her modeling portfolio. Of course, no one questions whether the person everyone’s fighting over is actually here for the “right reasons” and not just to promote his own career.
As you can imagine, most people on reality TV are there for the “right reasons.” Absolutely. Without a shred of a doubt.
Opening Yourself Up
When you’re competing with 10 or 20 other hopefuls for the attention of someone you’ve known for a few weeks, you don’t have a chance to win unless you “open yourself up.” While normal dating etiquette calls for holding back a bit on your secrets and inner feelings and all that stuff, competing on a reality show means letting your potential spouse in on all the goodies as quickly as possible, less they lose interest and pursue a contestant who opens up more. (Of course, on trashier shows like Rock of Love, it’s not just your personality that you’re expected to open up!) There’s always a conflict where Potential Spouse Y is a reserved person and isn’t able to open up enough, causing her to get sent home in tears while she chastises herself for the “personality flaw” of not being able to expose every part of her personality to a stranger on national TV.
Bring It!
A shortened version of the slang term “bring it on,” “bringing it” on reality TV means competing as hard as you possibly can. This is used on other types of reality TV shows as well. On America’s Next Top Model, you “bring it” by striking an especially fierce pose. On Survivor, you “bring it” by successfully persuading the other competitors to keep you on the island.
On a dating show, “bringing it” is kind of creepy, as this concept really does reduce the alleged quest for love to a ruthless competition. To “bring it,” you must successfully convince the show’s heartthrob that you are the idea mate, and that those other beyotches are not. This can be achieved by “opening yourself up,” by “being here for the right reasons,” or by doing whatever it takes to make yourself seem desirable.
Take the Relationship to the Next Level
In normal relationships, there are levels—like, lust, falling in love, love, and lifetime commitment (or something like that). In real life, you get a fairly open amount of time to go from one level to the next, and real dating partners don’t get upset if you’re not in love by week 4. On reality TV, though, there’s only a limited amount of time, so you’d better be in love by week 4 (or be a good actress) or else you’re going home. There’s always a conflict on the show where the heartthrob questions whether Potential Spouse Z is “ready to take it to the next level,” which usually results in her tearful departure and her self-beratement for failing to fall in love with a stranger who’s dating a dozen other women.
Not Here to Make Friends!
There’s always one girl on the show who causes lots of conflict and who, at some point, declares that she’s “not here to make friends!” This girl usually goes pretty far in the competition, as the catfights she causes make good television. However, she never actually wins because the viewer is supposed to hate her, and therefore her victory would anger the audience. The Not Here to Make Friends girl does get a lot of airtime, so if she’s “here for the wrong reasons” (i.e. to get publicity), this isn’t a bad gig.
So there you have it-- reality TV relationship lingo in a nutshell. Now you can decide for yourself if a contestant is "here for the right reasons," and other pressing issues.
