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Vh-1 has put a bunch of 'celebs' - and we use the term loosely - in a house yet again. This time, they are pitted against each other. Oh no! Say it isn't so!
THE BEGINNING:Usually, I love a really good Fantasy Island spoof…okay, no I don’t. The Surreal Life: Fame Games began with host Robin Leach (Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous) as Ricardo Montalban’s Rourke and the diminutive Verne Troyer – Mini Me from the Austin Powers’ franchise and a SL alum – as Tattoo. They welcome the crew of celebrities. When I say ‘celebrity’, understand the term to mean people who were famous maybe 15-20 years ago or star in porn movies or pose for Playboy, but not people who were really that famous to begin with. So now that this is clarified, let’s... MEET THE CONTESTANTS:Jordan Knight – former New Kid on the Block. He is upset about the house and everything it seems. We learn that he has reason to be pissy. His grandma died. His wife tells him over the phone and Jordan bows out of the show to be with his family. Verne Troyer – he said he didn’t want to be a part of this season. He hated his season of The Surreal Life. However, when Jordan bows out, he is there to take his place and isn’t happy about it, either. Andrea Lowell – a model/actress who has posed for Playboy and is a spokesperson for BetUs.com, an online gambling site. Andrea’s concerned that she won’t be as recognizable as some of the other ‘luminaries’ this season. CC DeVille – former lead guitarist for the glam-metal band Poison, Mr. DeVille is a legend more in his own mind than in reality. He has to offer people money to pose for pics with him in the first challenge. (How degrading!) Sandy Denton, aka Pepa – one-third of the popular rap group, Salt ‘n Pepa. Sandy Denton is fierce, funny and bringing her A-game to the competition. Brigitte Nielsen – The Amazonian Red Sonja star and former Mrs. Stallone is flirting with the guys and the girls this season. The former paramour of Flavor Flav and star of the aptly-entitled Strange Love is getting cozy with Chyna Doll already. Joanie Laurer, aka Chyna Doll - a former WWE Wrestler. She’s also a tall, burly beauty (yes, it’s possible!) who has some serious demons. When she was last on The Surreal Life, we almost saw the Chyna Doll break. She appears to be back in top form…at least until she hits the “B-list” in the middle of the first episode. She thinks fame proves you’re something special. Poor Chyna! Ron Jeremy – the porn star with the notoriously long schlong is back in this hizzouse, y’all. He’s trying to be funny and even attempts to do his stand-up act this season. He’s also looking to hook up with any of the ladies in the house so he can show us all what he’s got. Traci Bingham – the former Baywatch babe and star of Marky Mark Wahlberg’s rap video (hehe!) is ready to show that she’s a major playa in H-wood. She starts the drama flowing in the first episode by asking Chyna Doll if she’s ever had an ‘anal bleaching’. What the heck? Rob Van Winkle, aka Vanilla Ice – somehow the ice got really cool. He’s sporting tattoos and a bad-@$$ look. He’s more gangsta than wanker these days. Ice wins the first challenge and turns on the heat in the house. BRIEF RECAP:The contestants enter the house. We meet them. They talk. They drink. Most of them have a smoke or two. Jordan announces he’s leaving. They all hug him and wish him well. Bye! Verne Troyer steps in to fill Jordan’s shoes. The next day they go to this autograph signing competition. CC Deville, who’s afraid of losing the competition, asks people to help him. He’ll “split the money with them.” He gets a few takers and doesn’t lose. Chyna Doll, Andrea Lowell and Verne Troyer are the bottom-feeders. They’re warned they’ll be sent over to the “B-list” if they don’t improve next time. The next day there’s a weird competition using technology products. Chyna is the first one sent to the B-list. Verne follows her. Brigitte, who’s spent the night with Chyna already – they’re just REALLY good friends – wants to follow her Chyna Doll ‘til she sees the depressing place. FINAL ANALYSIS:The Surreal Life: Fame Games is kinda cruel. It puts these pseudo-famous people together and makes fun of them. It’s kind of a caricature of itself like some of the personalities in the house. I’m not sure I want to watch.It’s got the train-wreck quality of most of Vh-1’s ‘Celebreality’ shows. So, perhaps I won't be able to look away.
The copyright of the article Trot out the D List in Reality TV is owned by Deanna Couras Goodson. Permission to republish Trot out the D List in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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